


murder board (the killer's code)

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, BAMF Peter Parker, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Filling In the Gaps, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 02:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17235368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "He checks out the sewers.He was wrong. His villains don't have lairs.They have one very big lair, complete with central murder board."





	murder board (the killer's code)

Vulture was his first costumed villain and probably the most terrifying so far. Vulture was emphatically not his last costumed villain, because they show up literally constantly.

  
Peter meets this one-armed scientist who has a very reasonable and seemingly innocent motive to research advanced healing, and believes he can create waves in the field by studying superhumans with said advanced healing, but isn't actually getting anywhere because he has actual morals and isn't a fan of human experimentation--which, as one of the possible test subjects, Peter appreciates!--and so Peter tries to contribute a little because he can help people like this. That's Lizard's origin story.

  
A month later, this gorgeous girl a few years older than him with crazy white hair walks by him on the street, does a (incredibly smooth) double take, and starts flirting with him on the spot. That's Black Cat, and it turns out she's a bit of a kleptomaniac.

The homeless guy with the tiny red guitar that regularly sets up on that block he always goes past on his way to school? Human Fly. He has to say, though--with the addition of this guy, he definitely does not have the weirdest power-set in NYC anymore. Wall-crawling move aside, this guy eats garbage!

  
Really makes a guy realize--he needs to start background checking everyone he meets.

Scratch that, he needs to start regularly checking the sewers. All of his more disgustingly-themed villains (and, yeah, he gets it--snakes, lizards, insects, and arthropods are both cool as shit and underrated--but he's still making fun of them) seem to escape down there. They absolutely have lairs.  
\--  
Ned's the first besides him to notice.

"Holy shit, you're Batman!"

Peter...was confused, and decided this was absolutely the time to pull out the epic side-eye he'd been practicing for when Ned pulled out one of these gems about his super-heroism.

"Okay, hear me out. You have a rouges gallery. A really big, really awesome collection of super-villains. And I know you're gonna say, 'So does Superman and the Flash and Green Lantern, and literally everyone, so what's the difference?'"

That was...exactly his question, so he just nods and lets Ned keep going. This was gonna be great.

"But Batman has the best supervillains; everyone knows that."

Okay, fact.

"And you have the best villains of anyone right now. Definitely at least the most. Which Batman also has."

That's...not how logic works.

Screw it. He needs a win this week and he'll take it. He's Batman.  
\--  
He checks out the sewers.

He was wrong. His villains don't have lairs.

They have one very big lair, complete with central murder board.

Except, he doesn't know if he can call it a murder board, because while it's got all the red string and thumb-tacks and newspaper clippings, and it's about a murder, it's not for solving a murder, it's not about getting justice.

It's for planning a murder. Specifically his.

What the shit.

It's complete with photos from literally every newspaper appearance, and stills from every YouTube video he's in (respectably thorough), photos that are definitely not from the Internet but(creepy as shit and totally explained a couple of odd spidey-sense trips while fighting, but who supervillains with a device that records evidence!?), basic physics and math to try to figure out how strong he is based on approximations and blurry footage (you're doing amazing, sweetie), and a list of his powers (hilarious).

The list has him at a 5 ton limit for strength, doesn't mention spider-sense, and assumes the wall-crawling is a feature of his suit.

Okay, a shitty murder board was much more soothing than a good murder board.  
\--  
"I really just wanted to take the win, but I've gotta say--"

"Uh-oh."

"No, but, I'm pretty sure I have the most villains only because they don't immediately die? Like, everyone else kills their villains. So much. Or has someone close to them do it. Did you know Ms. Potts killed Killian and Stane?"

"Holy shit."

"Ned?"

"I'm just...suddenly really glad you turned down the Avengers."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"Literally all of them have killed. Mr. Stark literally gave you a Instant Kill mode--"

"They're not gonna make me kill someone! And they all had reasons for what happened!"

"I'm not saying they're psychopaths! Just. It's almost like it doesn't effect them, you know?"

"...They're used to it. All of them killed before they became Avengers, so they just keep doing it. It doesn't really bother them."

"Can you do that?"

"I never want to kill anyone."

"Can you do that and be a hero?"

"...Yeah, that's how I treat my Rouges Gallery."

"No, sorry, yeah, you're a hero no matter what. I just meant..."

"I'm not mad, but I-I need to hear whatever you're trying to say."

"Okay. You can chose not to kill and be an Avenger, sure, but in practice...Can you really be an Avenger and never have to kill?"  
\--  
He doesn't tear the murder board down.

He wonders how many of the Avengers know whether a murder board is the term for a board about murdering instead of about a murder.

He wants to ask how many murdering boards they've made, how that compares to the number of murder boards.

He finds himself terrified, more by what he's thinking of than what he sees in front of him.  
\--  
"May?"

"Peter! Wha-what time is it?"

"Like 4:30."

"You just got back from patrol? Did something happen? Peter, you've gotta get at least 4 hours before sch--wait, did you even go out?"

"No. It's just--I n-need to tell you something."

She looks at him, vaguely alarmed. Sees his tears, grabs his hand.

"I lied. I didn't really explain why I Spider-man, just how and when."

"Peter, breathe."

"I killed B-Ben. I had my powers and I saw the guy before but I didn't stop him because I didn't care that he was pick-pocketing tourists and then later he shot Ben and I was right beside him, and May, I can dodge bullets, I could've moved him or jumped in front--"

"No no no no. Never. Don't say that. It was never your job to protect Ben. It was never your job to protect anyone, and you absolutely should not take bullets for anyone. None of that was your fau--"

"Don't say that! It's not about 'was' anymore! It's about what has to be, because if this wasn't my fault, I can't accept that. I can't accept that I couldn't have done anything because then--"

"Peter--it was never your fault, not a bit of it. Why-why are you crying more?"

"If this wasn't my fault, if Spider-man wasn't my- my penance, then I can't keep doing this, being Spider-man. I don't know how to keep going without a reason, and then it's a choice and then everyone who dies because I'm not out there is definitely my fault."

"Okay. Okay. So, you're saying either B-Ben's your fault, or other people will be?"

"Yes."

"How about this? Ben's not your fault. Keep being Spider-man with the purpose of saving other people."

"...I was afraid you'd say that."

"Peter, what?"

"This is so selfish...but I have to be Spider-man. He's me. If I'm doing this for Ben, I can do this according to what Ben would want--I don't have to kill because he never would have wanted me to. If I'm doing this for-for the people I'm protecting--there will be a time when I have to kill."

"You can't be judge, jury, and executioner! Just hand them to the cops--"

"May. I know. But, aliens, with powers too strong to contain, crimes too great to prosecute fairly in all of their lifetime, goals to destroy the universe? I don't want to kill anyone, but if I'm doing this for the innocents, in some cases, that's nothing but selfish, and I've got a responsibility."  
\--  
The media knows that Spider-man, Black Panther, and Ant-man were brought into a fight with the Avengers, without being Avengers.

Everyone knows the Avengers kill. (Does he?)

Do his villains know he doesn't?

If they think he has a murdering board for them, is it wrong for them to have a murdering board for him?

He doesn't tear the murder board down.  
\--  
"DAREDEVIL!"

He waits for 15 minutes on a roof top in Hell's Kitchen, and lets himself believe in urban legends. He knows Daredevil exists, and that he doesn't kill. His ability to literally be summoned from anywhere within the borders of Hell's Kitchen, however, is firmly urban legend.

Daredevil hasn't been heard from in months.

Peter wonders if he's dead.  
\--  
The Avengers don't call him, but he senses the donut in the sky, and he has to come.

There's this alien, Ebony Maw, Squidward, he's bipedal but less human than even Peter.

Mr. Stark asks him for a plan, and his plan works, but it's his plan, and his plan was to kill him, and he knows it. Tingles slide up and down his spine and he hides his discomfort by doubling down on the jokes, just as he's always done.

He didn't put the hole in the ship, didn't physically participate, but this was his murdering board.

He wonders if it's his last murdering board. He wonders if he's gonna lose count.

He wonders why he did it. (The alien wanted a necklace from a wizard.)

They tell him on the way to wherever the ship's autopilot is going. (Thanos wants to wipe out half the universe.)

One reason is (maybe) worthy. The other is (probably not worthy) what he knew when he killed someone for the first time.  
\--  
He doesn't tear the murder board down.

**Author's Note:**

> I've lurked in this fandom for a very long time, but never posted.


End file.
